So then, Celebrity Death Pool Bingo. The concept is a simple
one: Instead of numbers, we use celebrities. When a celebrity
dies, you mark him or her off your card. The first person
to get a straight line or all 4 corners is declared the
winner. See the cards below to get a rough idea of how it
works. I'm sure you'll pick it up pretty quickly.
The Rules
The exact boundaries of the game must be laid out at the
beginning of the whole process. Try and work out any possible
problems early on, to avoid confusion later.
Your first task is to work out how many celebrities each
card should contain. The cards should be square, with an
equal number of columns and rows. Bear in mind that the
more celebrities you aim for, the longer the game will last.
It can take a celebrity years to die! If you
feel that you won't know your gaming partners for very much
longer, then I do not recommend that you begin a large game.
A 3x3 card would be much more prudent.
Once you have decided how many celebrities are to be chosen
by each player, you obviously need to decide how many players
there will be. This must be finalised before the game
begins. There can be NO latecomers, as this shatters
all fairness of the competition. You must know from the
very beginning exactly who is taking part in the game, and
you must all gather together for the selection process.
Each player selects the number of celebrities that has
been decided upon. For example, if playing with the traditional
4x4 cards, each player must select 16 celebrities. The rules
of selection are detailed below. Once chosen, every player
places all of their celebrities into a hat, and the drawing
begins. Each player draws one name from the hat, in turn,
and places it at the top left of their card. Once each player
has chosen their first celebrity, the player who drew first
continues and draws his second, placing it to the right
of the first name. When the top row of the card has been
filled, move to the second row and begin placing names from
left to right once more. The drawing continues in this way,
each player taking their turn and placing the names in the
traditional left-to-right, top-to-bottom manner, until each
has filled their card and no names remain in the hat.
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Celebrities must be unequivocally confirmed
as alive before the game begins. If it transpires
that any celebrity marked as deceased actually died before
the game started, the celebrity will be counted as null
and void. The square containing the celebrity will not
be valid, and may not be replaced with a new celebrity.
- Incredibly-unlikely-to-die-any-time-soon celebrites are
allowed. It is an accepted tactic to deliberately choose
very young or healthy celebrities as one of your names,
with the explicit hope that one of the other players
will draw that celebrity from the hat, and thus have their
card sullied. It is customary to gloat over and deride anyone
drawing these names. If a player should deliberately choose
a young celebrity, and then have their tactic backfire by
picking the name themselves, this player shall be referred
to as "Loser."
- All celebrities must be recognisable to each player. The
names will only be classed as celebrities if each player
knows and understands precisely who they are. Players can
justify their choices by explaining their celebrity-status,
but if the other players still claim not to know or have
heard of the person in question, then it must be disqualified.
Only celebrities may take part in Celebrity Death
Pool Bingo.
- The selection of popular heroes is sorely frowned upon,
but is accepted. Many professional players recommend
using popular celebrities as it tinges the melancholy of
their death with the sweet aroma of success. Still, if you
do select someone incredibly well-liked, expect to be booed
and hissed at by all and sundry.
- The picking of American Presidents is particularly encouraged.
It has become tradition to name at least one during the
selection process. Whilst it isn't officially mandatory,
it is considered bad etiquette by many players to choose
a group of celebrities that does not include at least one
American President. This is simply a tradition that has
developed through the course of the entire history of the
game.
- It is perfectly acceptable for many players to pick the
same celebrity, and often sensible. However, it is heartily
encouraged, in the spirit of the game, to pick many of the
more unusual celebrities. It makes for a much more varied
and enjoyable game when people pick the less-common celebrities,
and in particular the celebrities that they loathe. Manchester
United staff and Bryan Adams are prime examples.
If a player draws a name that he/she already has on their
card, the name must be placed back in the hat and another
one drawn. Players cannot have the same celebrity more than
once on their card.
Once all cards have been filled by valid celebrities, the
game begins. When a player's celebrity dies, the name is marked
off their card. The conditions of victory are:
- A straight line of dead celebrities across the card, either
vertical, horizontal, or diagonal.
- All four corners being occupied by dead celebrities.
The exact results of victory are left up to the players,
but must be decided before the game begins. Many players
prefer to play Celebrity Death Pool Bingo non-competitively,
for their own amusement. However, the serious player will
wish to decide on an ante before the game starts. Each player
must agree to the sum of money decided upon, so some haggling
will inevitably follow. Once a sum has been settled upon,
however, the game can begin. When one player wins, every losing
contestant must pay the allotted amount of money to the victor.
Please bear in mind that games can last for several years,
and so what the players can and can't afford at that moment
in time bears very little relevance. What may seem like a
lot of money now could be a trifling amount when the player
is earning £35,000 a year by the time the game ends.
In the event of a tie, between one or more players, there
are two options available:
- A fight to the death. The survivor claims the prize and
may leave a free man.
- The equal division of the overall prize money. This is
generally considered the more amicable and liberal option.
Thus ends the rules to Celebrity Death Pool Bingo.
Please remember, the assassination of celebrities is considered
illegal in 12 states, and most countries. Whilst the rules
of the game do not disallow player-intervention, murdering
young and healthy celebrities may complicate the legality
of the game. Everything is fair game, but please use discretion.
If you would like to start a new game of Celebrity Death
Pool Bingo over the internet, please get a group of people
willing to play, and then decide on how many celebrities each
player will pick. When you've all decided, each player must
individually e-mail
me with their full selection of celebrities. I'll then
randomly assign them to the players' cards and publish them
on this page. Please follow the rules above.
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