14/01/2003 - Entry #56
Hey, it just occurred to me that now that Mal has found this site, I have an audience for when I talk about football!! Huzzah! In your face yankee scum! How do you like that? A series of references you don't understand and most likely never will! Ha!
Alright, I'll do another quotes session, because I like them. And surely everyone can enjoy amusing quotes, right? Right. So these are all the best quotes I've amassed from 2002. A kind of annual roundup of the game. Immense.
ALAN BRAZIL: "I was sad to hear yesterday about the death of Inspector Morse, TV’s John Shaw."
TALKSPORT CO-HOST MIKE PARRY: "It's John Thaw, Alan."
ALAN BRAZIL: "Do you know, I’ve been doing that all morning. John, if you’re listening, sorry mate."
"Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don’t forget, as usual the best caller wins a crate of John Smith’s" - ALAN BRAZIL. I swear to God this is true.
"We’ve got tailbacks on the M6. That’s been caused by the sheer weight of Trafford heading for Old Traffic" - TALKSPORT TRAVEL NEWSREADER.
"I like Lee Bowyer, he goes around whacking people" - BBC RADIO FIVE LIVE ANALYST TERRY BUTCHER.
"Traditionalists shuddered when Derby left the Baseball Ground and moved to Pride Park, but they now have an erection of which they can be proud" - DERBY WEBSITE. I never said I was mature.
"I was really surprised when the FA knocked on my doorbell" - MICHAEL OWEN. Well you would be.
"Wayne Rooney can go all the way to the top if he keeps his head firmly on the ground" - DAVID UNSWORTH.
"Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny colour" - GEORGE BEST, a man of honesty.
"The kids Michael Jackson will meet will not ever forget that day" - EXETER CITY CHAIRMAN URI GELLER on his best friend's visit to the club.
"King stole in at the far post to nick a late goal, but it was too late to get his team out of jail" - OFFICIAL CHELSEA WEBSITE on Gillingham's Marlon King, who was released from a prison term one day before the game. Beautiful.
"Steven Carr has hit a small blimp but we're hoping that he'll be back on course in the near future" - GLENN HODDLE.
"Every team has a blimp during the season and it's how you react to that blimp that's important." - GLENN HODDLE
"Arsenal have got over their blimp now" - GLENN HODDLE.
The Kevin Keegan vs. Bobby Robson gibberish showdown:
"The Under-17s are doing very well. You get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison, because footballers are nothing like bananas." - KEVIN KEEGAN on the Manchester City official website.
"I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football" - SIR BOBBY ROBSON, bless him.
"Not many teams will come to Arsenal and get anything, home or away." - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"Football never surprises you and it never sometimes demoralises you" - SIR BOBBY.
"I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"Both teams - and Brazil even - got better on their way to the World Cup final" - SIR BOBBY.
"Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose" - BOBBY ROBSON.
"We haven’t got the distraction of the Champions League or the European Cup like some teams have" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won't lay any eggs in the basket" - BOBBY ROBSON.
"I think the league table is a pretty good barometer of how you are doing" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"Alright, Bellamy came on at Liverpool and did well, but everybody thinks that he's the saviour, he's Jesus Christ. He's not Jesus Christ." - BOBBY ROBSON.
"Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23million and they built a training ground on him" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"Jermaine Jenas is a fit lad. He gets from box to box in all of 90 minutes" - BOBBY ROBSON
"If you put a template for the ideal striker into a computer, like they do with cars and it then sends out the perfect aerodynamic hatchback, it would come out with Thierry Henry and Nicolas Anelka" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
"We don't want our players to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level." - SIR BOBBY ROBSON.
"As far as I'm concerned, Danny Tiatto doesn't exist" - KEVIN KEEGAN
"Sarajevo isn’t Hawaii" - SIR BOBBY ROBSON
"When cars are designed they feed the information into a computer and it throws out this aerodynamic design with the hatchback and all the trimmings. If you put the details for a centre-half into a computer, especially a left-sided one, and you said he needs to be six-foot three, he needs to be quick, he needs to be strong, and he needs to be able to use the ball, then it would be Sylvain Distin" - KEVIN KEEGAN.
Alright, that's enough of those two.
"He shot from all of 35 yards there, and nobody beats David Seaman from that kind of distance" - CLIVE ALLEN.
"My view is that France are above everyone else. That doesn't mean they will definitely win the tournament because history teaches us nothing is certain. But there's no doubt their quality makes them super, super favourites" - ARSENE WENGER speaking shortly before France were knocked out of the World Cup without winning a single game.
"I hope Brazil win, though I worry about them. They have the best players in Europe but Brazil doesn't have the structure, planning, training or teamwork of France, England, Argentina or even Portugal" - PELE.
"It would not surprise me if we went unbeaten all season" - ARSENE WENGER. Sometime later they lost to Everton.
"My players are hurting after losing to Everton. You will be surprised by the reaction from my team against Auxerre." - ARSENE WENGER. They lost again. But he's not the only manager who gets things wrong. Case in point:
"We’ll show fire, endeavour and no small amount of skill. Hopefully we’ll surprise a few people with the way we play" - CAMBRIDGE MANAGER JOHN TAYLOR before his side's 7-0 defeat to Sunderland.
"Germany are no Argentina" - TERRY VENABLES.
"Terry Venables could do a Barcelona at Leeds, like he did in Barcelona" - TED BUXTON.
"We are a young side that will only get younger" - NOTTINGHAM FOREST BOSS PAUL HART.
"Oh don't worry, it's only Ray Parlour." - SOCCER AM’S TIM LOVEJOY, commentating on the FA Cup Final on Sky's Fanzone, moments before Parlour fires the ball into the back of the net.
"We can match them all the way...Coventry helped me to be the player I am today - I’m looking to go back and hurt them with it" - RUSHDEN & DIAMONDS MIDFIELDER PAUL HALL before a staggering 8-0 defeat against his former club...during which he was substituted off. Yep, I bet Coventry rue the day they sold you, Paul.
One of the greatest aspects of footballing politics is undoubtedly the Sudden U-turn. Examples:
"Have I ever been tempted to walk away in frustration? No, never. It's a thing I'd never do. I wouldn't turn my back on the lads. Never." - JOHN GREGORY, three days before quitting Aston Villa.
"If this Newcastle squad doesn't break up, and can stay together for the next three to five years then there will be some even better times ahead here at St James' Park" - SYLVAIN DISTIN, five days before signing for Manchester City.
"I'm pleased to be staying - but once this contract is up, that will be it, I have no intention of staying on at the club in any capacity whatsoever" - SIR ALEX FERGUSON, 10th February.
"I could go on for another three years. I would consider staying on again, postponing my retirement." - SIR ALEX FERGUSON, 17th November.
"He's a terrific manager and I've always got on with him. There aren't too many people in the game with his record in club management and I've got the utmost respect for him. He's got vast experience from more than 30 years in football and you cannot buy that. You have to listen to people like him. It's a great boost for Villa to have him on board" - PAUL MERSON greets the arrival of Graham Taylor as the new Aston Villa manager on the 6th of February.
"Aston Villa seem to be standing still. Ambition has waned. I have my thoughts on Graham Taylor and I don't want to share them. Sometimes you get on with a manager and sometimes you don't. If you don't, it's best to move on. Graham Taylor said as soon as he came in that I wouldn't be part of his plans this season. I was gutted. I knew as soon as he told me that I'd have to look elsewhere" - PAUL MERSON announces his departure from Aston Villa on the 7th of August.
"David and I share one of the closest relationships of any chairman and manager in the Premiership and I reminded him of that. It is something I can see remaining the case, because we have appointed David on a long-term contract. And he knows that I think he is the best young manager in the country" - PETER RIDSDALE, 19th January.
"I believe, unequivocally, we have the best management team in the country at Leeds United. I have total faith in the work David and his team are doing and I believe they are the right people to take this club forward and achieve success. He is up there with the best" - PETER RIDSDALE, 26th February.
"Leeds United PLC announces that David O'Leary, manager of Leeds United Football Club has left the company by mutual consent" - PETER RIDSDALE, 27th June.
"I'm gutted for Peter [Reid], but I'm an out-of-work manager and I'm happy to talk to anyone" - DAVID O'LEARY may be an out-of-work manager, but he's certainly not subtle.
"Darlington’s offer was not enough to live on here" - FAUSTINO ASPRILLA rejects a paltry £17,000 a week. That's $27,334 to those of you from the colonies. Every week. Pff. Pittance! I find that much down the back of the sofa.
"Neale Barry was pretty awful and didn’t referee with any common sense. Adam Murray’s devastated after being sent off and he’s cried his eyes out in the dressing room afterwards. He’s gone in there with studs up and has cut someone in half, but I don’t want to criticise him" - DERBY MANGER JOHN GREGORY. 'Baffling' doesn't even begin to cover it.
"I've spoken to the referee and it was cordial. Well, at least he was cordial." - JOHN GREGORY.
"The referee was minging" - 'LL' GRAEME SOUNESS.
"Bernard would have done better to stay in France with a less prestigious club. Instead he is going to waste at a big English club in the arsehole of the universe" - FRENCH UNDER-21 MANAGER RAYMOND DOMENECH provides the Bolton tourist board with a quote or two.
"I would like the opportunity to speak to them. It is a great opportunity. I hope something can be sorted out. I have gone as far as I can with Rotherham" - RONNIE MOORE upsets Rotherham fans when he responds to reports suggesting Ipswich want to speak to him about their vacant managerial post. Unfortunately for Ronnie, it was all a hoax.
"They are definitely among us and there is a massive conspiracy in place. I think there is a massive cover-up. There are also organisations in place far more powerful than governments. And we don't know the truth because we can't handle it, the truth about alien existence would frighten people. They would rather ignore it than deal with it" - JAMES BEATTIE is a complete lunatic.
"All I'm saying is the truth is out there. I have a view about the subject and that's it. Of course I haven't been abducted - not to my knowledge" - JAMES BEATTIE is a mentalist.
"Anything where the bone’s sticking out is considered to be a very bad injury. Scalp lacerations, when you witness flaps of skin which hang down and you can see the vein still pumping away, are quite bad" - SHREWBURY PHYSIO SIMON SHAKESHAFT provides the understatement of the year.
"I could have put a set of pigeons in midfield and they would have played better" - PARTICK THISTLE MANAGER JOHN LAMBIE.
"Socialist and socialist-leaning lefties like soccer and conservatives do not… Socialist nations embraced soccer because 90 minutes of boredom broken up by a few fleeting moments of excitement probably reflected life under socialism" - COLUMN IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES.
"Oliver Kahn is constantly portrayed as Superman while the rest of us are seen as sausages. As soon as he lets in a goal, everyone starts shouting 'unstoppable', even if it wasn't. Then, when Goalkeeper X in the Bundesliga lets in a similar shot, he is branded a cucumber" - SCHALKE04 KEEPER FRANK RUST.
"I got a permanent erection, and the others couldn't stop laughing" - ANONYMOUS DYNAMO BUCHAREST PLAYER on the team's botched experiment with performance-enhancing drugs.
"Apart from Roberto Carlos I can’t think of a more influential left-back in world football than my Portsmouth team-mate Matthew Taylor" - PAUL MERSON. Hahahaha.
"At this particular moment I'm consumed with guilt. I feel guilty about our results so far. I feel bad for our supporters, I feel responsible for letting them down. Guilt is the wrong word. I mean I'm consumed with responsibility. There is not a waking hour that at some time I don't question, assess, re-assess and question again everything I do as a coach and consequently what we do as a team in the pursuit of excellence, and in the pursuit of success. So guilt is the wrong word in the context of this discussion. My five-month-old son, Isaiah, has no concept of guilt because it's an acquired emotion but sadly one he will discover as he gets older. The original Isaiah was an Old Testament prophet who, according to record, predicted the coming of Christ in 736 BC. Not that I'm religious, quite the opposite in fact. I've recently read a book called the Isaiah Effect. It's essentially about using the collective will of humanity to change the state of the world by prayer or thought. The concept is linked to an abstract field of science called Quantum Physics (see Albert Einstein)" - Programme notes by BRISBANE STRIKERS’ COACH JOHN KOSMINA. Absolutely classic.
Alright, time for the Alex And Arsene Show!
"We've played the best football and scored the most goals. Since Christmas we've been the best team in England" - SIR ALEX FERGUSON.
"Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home" - ARSENE WENGER’S response. Rumour has it that Sir Alex had to be reassured that it was a metaphor, and not a reference to his wife, Kathy.
"Sir Alex has got such a stern exterior but behind the scenes he is almost this huge, larger-than-life comedian. He’s always singing at the top of his voice" - REBECCA TOW in the book 'United We Stand'. You just can't see it, can you?
"A football team is like a beautiful woman. When you do not tell her so, she forgets she is beautiful. It is the same with a team. When you do not tell them they are good, they can also forget" - ARSENE WENGER, BORN ROMANTIC.
"Your fucking stuff is a disgrace to journalism and you are. The stuff you fucking come out with.... On you go. I'm no fucking talking to you. He's a fucking great player. Yous are fucking idiots" - SIR ALEX, HAPPY COMEDIAN, politely defends the criticism of Juan Sebastian Veron.
The Big Ron Collection:
"The Spaniards have been reduced to aiming aimless balls into the box" - RON ATKINSON.
"Yordi circumnavigated Ledley King there" - RON ATKINSON.
"Lee Dixon will be up against two South American left-handers tonight" - RON ATKINSON.
"Ballack is being a bit milky at the moment" - RON ATKINSON.
"Liverpool must be thinking ‘we could have won this 2-2’" - RON ATKINSON.
"He actually looks like a little twat, that Totti. Are there any sandwiches? I'm starving." - RON ATKINSON, not realising the microphone was still on.
Best interviews of the year:
PAUL GASCOIGNE: "Did you watch the match?"
BUILDING WORKER, BEING INTERVIEWED ON ITV: "Yeah."
PAUL GASCOIGNE: "Did you watch it?"
BUILDING WORKER: "Yeah, the boss gave us time off."
PAUL GASCOIGNE: "Haha! Does your boss know you watched it?"
RADIO FIVE LIVE HOST: "Over to Germany now, and we understand they’re projecting images of the German team’s socks onto the pillars of the Brandenburg Gates in Berlin. What does that look like?"
REPORTER: "I wish I could tell you, but I can’t... I’m in Munich."
RADIO FIVE LIVE PRESENTER IAN PAYNE: "Now Bobby, absolutely everyone has listened to a football match while they were somewhere unusual or perhaps somewhere they shouldn't have been. Have you got a story like that?"
SIR BOBBY CHARLTON: "No, no, no. Not at all."
IAN PAYNE: "Oh."
The '...what?' Section:
"Our keeper only had one save to make but we lost 4-0" - CRAIG BROWN.
"They've one man to thank for that goal, and that's Alan Shearer. And they've also got to thank referee Alan Wilkie" - KING AMONGST MEN, CHRIS KAMARA.
"Everybody says Steve McManaman played on the left for me in Euro 96 but he never played on the left. The one time he did play on the left was against Switzerland" - TERRY VENABLES.
"Solskjaer never misses the target. That time he hit the post" - PETER SCHMEICHEL.
"We dominated for 75% of the game, but we have to make sure we do that for the other 15" - DAVE JONES.
"The match is evenly balanced but AC Milan have the upper hand" - UEFA.COM.
"So, Liverpool have now really got to win two away - one in Barcelona, the other at home to Roma." - BOB WILSON.
"Djimi Traore had to adapt to the English game and he did that by going out on loan to Lens last season" - IAN RUSH.
"There’s only one word to describe Wolves at the moment - absolutely flawless" - NATIONWIDE LEAGUE SPOKESMAN.
"Over now to John Murray who was at Anfield for last night’s thriller between Liverpool and Newcastle. John, just how long is Roy Keane going to be out?" - RADIO FIVE LIVE HOST.
ANNE ROBINSON: "What D are trousers with a bib attached?"
GEORGE COHEN: "Strides."
ANNE ROBINSON: "Which famous comet was said to have heralded the Norman invasion of Britain in the 11th century?"
MARTIN PETERS: "William."
ANNE ROBINSON: "What K is Britain's most widespread bird of prey?"
SIR GEOFF HURST: "Eagle."
"We all remember Peter Harris" - VINNIE JONES on the late actor Richard Harris.
"There could have been four players sent off for each side. So the match would have ended up six against six" - Maths is clearly not SAM ALLARDYCE'S strong point.
"If after four away games you haven’t scored any goals you’re unlikely to have many points" - GRAHAM TAYLOR.
"To have good home form is vital. But to have decent away form is also important. Any team that is looking to make a mark or go for trophies or promotion has got to be pulling results out of the bag on a regular basis." - NIGEL WORTHINGTON.
"I never saw myself wearing any other shirt... my only colour is white. I'll never wear any other colour" - REAL MADRID’S FERNANDO MORIENTES explains why he rejected a move to...Tottenham.
"I said to the players before the start, ‘Just go out and give it 100 per cent...I am not asking for any more than that'" - CARLTON PALMER.
"There's no problem with Darius Vassell and quite simply there wouldn't be a problem if there was" - GRAHAM TAYLOR.
"It's a no-win game for us. Although I suppose we can win by winning" - SPURS’ GARY DOHERTY.
INTERVIEWER: "A Leicester City statement says 'we are experiencing short- and medium-term cashflow problems'. What does that mean?"
DAVE BASSETT: "It means they're having problems in the short-term and they're going to have problems in the medium-term."
GARY LINEKER: "Trevor Brooking is in the Sapporo Bowl. What’s it like, Trevor?"
TREVOR BROOKING: "It’s a bowl shape, Gary."
Commentary Corner:
"He cannot move his feet anymore" - ALAN HANSEN reveals why it's all going wrong for David Seaman.
"That was clearly a tackle aimed at getting revenge - or maybe it was just out-and-out retribution" - JOE ROYLE.
"They haven’t lived up to the expectations we expect of them" - GEORGE GRAHAM.
"Michael Owen is a little parasite in the best possible sense of the word" - ALLY McCOIST.
"Wayne Bridge isn’t quick, but he is rapid" - DAVID PLATT.
"If Joe Cole goes to the Under-21 championship instead of the World Cup, at least he’ll be ready for Euro 2000" - DAVE BASSETT. Two years too late, Dave.
"Manchester City don’t know the meaning of the word dead and buried" - MARCUS BUCKLAND.
"There was no contact there - just a clash of bodies" - ANDY GRAY.
"The referee is wearing the same yellow-coloured top as the Slovakian goalkeeper. I'd have thought the UEFA official would have spotted that - but perhaps he's been deafened by the noise of this crowd" - JOHN MOTSON.
"Gay Shiven had a good game in goal for Ireland" - MARTIN DAHLIN, Swedish TV.
RICHARD KEYS: "If Alan Shearer was a type of food, what kind of food would he be?"
ANDY GRAY: "A British bulldog."
"The Seville derby looks very tasty. And what’s more, it’s being played in Seville" - EUROSPORT'S GERRY ARMSTRONG.
"You could visibly hear the strain in Michael Owen’s voice there" - MIKE PARRY, TALKSPORT.
The World Cup:
"There’s no danger of us being too confident at the World Cup finals. If each player performs at their level then we don’t have to worry about the opponents" - FRANCE’S MARCEL DESAILLY.
"At least we're going to Hong Kong this summer - you're not!" - JASON McATEER taunts Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink after Holland miss out on the World Cup...in Japan.
"Many of the Turks have their Christian names on the back of their shirts" - JOHN MOTSON. Heh.
"They let in the people who dropped the bomb on Hiroshima yet they won't let Diego in!" - DIEGO MARADONA on Japan's refusal to give him a VISA during the World Cup. It wouldn't be nearly so funny if he didn't refer to himself in third person.
"I can buy you, I can buy your house, your family and I can buy that mountain we were running on in Slovenia during our preparations. You were a dickhead player and you're the same as a coach" - ZLATKO ZAHOVIC gets angry at Slovenian Coach Srecko Katanec after being substituted in their opening match. Much like Roy Keane, he was sent home.
"I'm leaving the referee to the South Koreans. We sacrificed a thousand soldiers here to defend Korea and now one Korean has killed 70 million Turks" - HALAK ULUSOV, President of the Turkish FA, takes things seriously.
"Despite scoring his first goal for his country, Sol Campbell was a liability at the back as he failed to defend with any real authority" - PAGE 43 OF THE DAILY STAR after England's World Cup opener against Sweden.
"STAR MAN: Sol Campbell. Most experienced outfield player led by example with his excellent header to open the scoring. Dependable at the back in his more accustomed role. 8/10" - PAGE 47 OF THE DAILY STAR after England's World Cup opener against Sweden.
"It's only at the point of climax that you get any ripple of noise" - ITV COMMENTATOR JON CHAMPION.
REPORTER: "Were you disappointed at the way you conceded the first goal?"
SWEDEN’S MAGNUS HEDMAN: "No, I’m used to it. I play for Coventry..."
"Bloody good show!" - HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE CHARLES on hearing that England were through to the final 16 teams.
"Germany benefited from a last gasp hand job on the line" - ITV's DAVID PLEAT on Torsten Frings' handball against the USA.
"Normally when you get shirts, especially after a game in heat like that, they are soaked in sweat and absolutely stink. It was a surprise, to say the least, that Beckham's shirt smelt only of perfume. Either he sweats cologne or he obviously protects himself against body odour" - RONALDO marvels at the wonderful aroma of David Beckham.
"Not your fault he fluked the fucker in is it? Eh? Eh?" - DAVID BECKHAM’S clearly visible words for David Seaman as he tries to console him after Ronaldhino had knocked England out of the cup.
"Seaman was fucking five yards off his line. And what the fuck was Sven doing taking Michael Owen off?" - IAN WRIGHT WRIGHT WRIGHT after what the BBC described as a 'technical fault' allowed some viewers to continue listening to pundits after the programme had finished.
"It's the fucking Krauts" - ALAN HANSEN after being asked which game is next.
"Brazil vs. Germany is a battle of the old adversaries... though obviously they haven't met before" - DAVE BASSETT.
"They showed outstanding skill, an element of surprise and attacking potential...good technique, speed and assured combination play" - FIFA REPORT on Saudi Arabia's World Cup performance, during which they lost all their games, scoring in none.
That nice boy Roy Keane:
"United's season is over and I have to put it to the back of my mind. I'm just looking forward to the World Cup now" - ROY KEANE on the 18th of May.
"Are you going to make me?" - ROY KEANE'S reaction to the suggestion by Alan Kelly that he calms down.
"You're a fucking wanker. You don't know what you are fucking doing. You're a crap manager and a crap person" - ROY KEANE announces that he would quite like to go home, please.
"I’d waited almost 180 minutes for Alfie, three years if you looked at it another way. Now he had the ball on the far touchline. Alfie was taking the piss. I’d waited long enough. I fucking hit him hard. The ball was there ( I think). Take that, you cunt. And don’t ever stand over me again sneering about fake injuries. And tell your pal Wetherall there’s some for him as well" - ROY KEANE reveals all in his autobiography, and is rewarded with five-match ban in Europe.
"The World Cup is the most important thing in my life, but my conscience is clear - and that's the most important thing in my life" - ROY KEANE.
"'What goes with the flow?' Roy asked me. I thought, 'here we go again.' He'd been hitting me with all these one-liners - 'Fail to prepare, prepare to fail'- all week. ‘I don't know,’ I replied, 'What goes with the flow?'. ‘Dead fish,’ he said." - Jason McATEER on life with Roy.
The David-Brent-alike competition:
"We think we have worked out what our problems are. We are a team. There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’ but there is an ‘I’ in ‘win’: the only way is to pull together" - WOLVES' DAVE JONES.
"A lucky goal or the run of the ball can be triggers but they can only be triggers if you have gunpowder, and that's what we need" - HOWARD WILKINSON.
"It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie, and I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now" - QPR MANAGER IAN HOLLOWAY.
"This is the people’s club and everybody can have a piece of that pie - a pie that's already smelling beautifully" - IAN HOLLOWAY.
"When the water stands still in the pond, it starts to stink" - IAN HOLLOWAY.
"This is our cave, and I like living in it" - IAN HOLLOWAY.
"When you lose 1-0 people don't look any deeper than the result. And they don't have to" - GLENN ROEDER.
"The dual carriageway that Liverpool were travelling on has now become a single carriageway. The league is the only position from which they can qualify for the Champions League" - HOWARD WILKINSON.
"Michael Owen is working on things that will make him stronger. Only in the dictionary does success come before work" - GERARD HOULLIER.
"Our squad looks good on paper. But paper teams win paper cups" - HOWARD WILKINSON.
"Gascoigne, manager Lazio? Hahaha. Gascoigne, manager Lazio! Hahahahaha. Gascoigne, manager Lazio. Hahahaha. Now I have heard it all" - DINO ZOFF on hearing of Paul Gascoigne's ambition to coach in Serie A.
"He ate ice cream as an hors d’oeuvre" - DINO ZOFF on Paul Gascoigne.
"I'd rather my wife was injured rather than my players" - JEAN TIGANA doesn't lack conviction.
"I sometimes wish I'd been shot when I was England manager. But it never came to that (long pause). Nor should it" - GRAHAM TAYLOR.
"Alan Shearer touches a lot of balls for his team-mates" - MARCELLO LIPPI.
and the final quote, from this year, in fact:
"Just Wait Til You Come To Anfield!" - DAILY MAIL HEADLINE following Sheffield United's victory over Liverpool last week. Considering Liverpool have only won there once in the last two months, giving them one of the worst home records in the Premiership, this has to be the least scary threat of all time.
Alright, that's all for now. Apologies to all the non-football fans.
Please sign the Guestbook. For the love of God, sign it now.